


Two Birds, One Bean

by anotherFMAfan



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
Genre: Fluff, Holidays, Humor, M/M, setsubun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-02-03
Packaged: 2018-01-11 00:56:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1166698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherFMAfan/pseuds/anotherFMAfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beans and Elrics and a bean Elric. Written for Setsubun 2014.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Birds, One Bean

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Bad puns ahead!  
> Like most holiday fic, this assumes that Amestris celebrates in a fashion very similar to the way we do. AU, Alphonse has his body back.

Some things never change, thought Alphonse Elric as he watched his brother scowl, and scuff the floor of their brand-new house with his shoe, and generally put on a much bigger show than was required to get across the point that he allegedly objected to a certain of their expected visitors.

“I just mean, holidays and traditions and stuff are s’posta be FUN, that’s the point, y’know,” he grumbled, pushing a metal finger through the beans sitting in a dish on the table.

Al just patted his brother’s arm. If Ed felt like he had to work THAT hard at pretending he wouldn’t be glad to see the general again after he’d been away on assignment for a few months, he could be Al’s guest.

“Y’know?” Ed insisted.

“Mm-hmm.”

Ed sighed dramatically and looked out the door, doing what to Al looked like a pretty good impression of a love-struck teenager, but he assumed was supposed to look dejected.

“Listen, Brother,” Al began. “They should be here any minute, so why don’t we get out the….” Al trailed off, noticing his brother had gone rigid looking out the door. “Brother?”

But Ed wasn’t listening, and a moment later pulled a solitary bean out of the dish, flung the door open, and whipped it out into the night as hard as he could. For a split second there was silence, and then the sound of a distant yelp.

“Brother!” Al gasped, but Ed just cackled in delight, grabbing onto the doorframe to lean out.

“Good luck, in! Bastards, OUT!” he hollered, and then slammed the door shut with a bang.

“Edward Elric!” Alphonse snapped, losing his temper.

“Come on, Al, just hitting two birds with one stone, as it were,” Ed snickered, wide grin splitting his face.

“You didn’t have to do it with your right hand!” Al scolded in exasperation, shoving his brother out of the way and opening the door to find a rather wearily amused Riza Hawkeye on the doorstep, General Mustang trailing behind by several feet.

Al showed them in, apologizing profusely and shooting Ed dirty looks. Ed seemed unperturbed, still smiling his shit-eating grin. The general was sporting a suspicious red mark on his forehead, and raised an eyebrow at Ed as he shrugged off his greatcoat and allowed Al to take it.

“You got something—just here.” Ed said toothily, gesturing to his own forehead.

“Indeed,” Mustang replied with a smirk. “You know, Edward, you’re always throwing yourself at me, but I do hope you do so in a less painful fashion for the rest of the evening.”

Ed frowned at that for a second, and then his expression darkened, eyes narrowing dangerously and his mouth flattening out. He glared for a long, silent moment.

Then Mustang made a run for it, darting out the door with Ed hot on his heels.

“Brother! Sir—oh,” sighed Alphonse, unable to help smiling, anyway, as he watched the chase occurring in the front yard. “They don’t even have their coats on.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry,” assured Riza, leaning over to look out the door herself. “I have a feeling things are about to get plenty heated up.”

Even as she spoke, the general was pulling on his white glove, but before he could do anything, Ed gave a cry of vengeance and tackled him to the ground. Al and Riza watched from inside as they tussled around in the snow, and then suddenly went very still.

“Well, heated up one way or another,” Alphonse agreed embarrassedly, shaking his head and giving the captain a commiserating glance. “What do you say we get started on the rolls without them?”

“Unanimous,” Hawkeye agreed, snapping the door shut firmly, and Alphonse laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: The word "mame," bean, can be used to mean something (in this case someone) small.   
> The rolls being referred to are "ehomaki," which are traditionally eaten at setsubun.


End file.
